Who is the smartest cookie among Bob’s Burgers’ colorful cast of characters? Let’s find out. We’re ranking the main characters by their intelligence.
When it comes to the relative intelligence of characters in animated series, the bar can be pretty low. Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin aren’t going to be winning the Nobel Prize in Physics any time soon. Homer did beat a group of grade school kids a designing the nuclear power plant of the future, though.
But on Bob’s Burgers, the relative intelligence of the characters seems higher than other series. The key word in that sentence is seems, in part because many of the characters are so ridiculous that its hard to tell how smart they actually are.
Teddy is far and away the biggest supporter of Bob’s Burgers. He’s the restaurant’s most regular customer, though he’s also the least likely to understand all the puns in the titles of Bob’s daily specials. As supportive as Teddy is, he isn’t the smartest guy in the room.
He’s supportive to a fault, enabling some of Bob’s worst ideas. While Teddy isn’t the most intelligent guy on the show, he’s easily the sweetest and most well meaning. Nobody cares about Bob and his family more than Teddy does.
Like Teddy, Linda’s sister Gayle is a lovely person who means well in everything she does. She’s also like Teddy in that she’s not the brightest. Gayle suffers from extreme loneliness, often faking medical issues to get attention from her sister.
This drives Bob nuts, though their relationship is even more strained than that. One time, she became fixated on Bob to the point that she tried build a sexual relationship with him while on a ski trip with the family and their dentist. It got really weird for everyone involved.
Bob and Linda’s middle child is an odd duck, and that’s saying a lot in that household. Gene leans to the theatrical side of things, and is frequently looking for the focus to be on him. For Gene, life is a stage and every moment is a performance.
Unfortunately, those performances are rarely thought out and the moments are never chosen wisely. Gene is a key member of his defacto team with his sisters but he’s almost always a hindrance to their plans. At least he’s funny, though.
Jimmy Pesto, Sr.
Bob’s nemesis is Jimmy Pesto, Sr. who runs the much more successful restaurant across the street. The much, much, much more successful restaurant across the street. Jimmy never misses an opportunity to rub his good fortune in Bob’s face by flaunting his crowds.
He doesn’t really need to, though, since Bob spends a significant portion of his time staring out his window at Jimmy Pesto’s Pizzeria. But Jimmy’s success comes from a lot of bravado and luck, not because he’s a super smart guy. He’s one bad day away from being Bob.
Bob is nothing without Linda. Her love and support has kept him going through the hardest moments of his life. That being said, many of those difficult moments were caused by Linda. She’s an incredibly positive person who looks for the best in every person and situation.
She also has a tendency to dive into problems and plans head first without thinking about the consequences, frequently leaving Bob to clean up the mess. But she’s also the first one there help Bob when he makes a mistake.
If there’s anyone who isn’t as smart as he thinks he is, it’s Bob. Naming his burgers weird names based on puns has proven to be a miserable failure but he refuses to give up on the practice. The problem is that the burgers often sound really tasty but he ruins the vibe with the names.
As a father, husband and even as a chef, Bob excels. But as a businessman, Bob is sorely lacking and seemingly unwilling to acknowledge that. Despite his feelings about Jimmy Pesto, Sr., Bob is most certainly his own worst enemy.
Hating Mr. Frond is easy since he can be so overbearing. As the self-certified counselor of Wagstaff School, Mr. Frond spends a significant amount of time trying to corral the various students, including the Belchers. He doesn’t generally stand a chance.
But the problem isn’t so much that he’s an idiot as it is he’s outclassed and outgunned. The man is on his own against a superior force that has greater numbers than him. If he was dealing with a normal student body. he would probably be more successful in his position.
Second only to Teddy in his support of Bob’s Burgers, Mort is about as nice a mortician as you could hope to have working next door. Mort is an intelligent guy who constantly tries inject common sense into many of the insane situations that come up in the restaurant.
He also does his best to direct business towards the Belchers from the funerals he hosts. While he’s still a funny guy, Mort definitely provides a much needed level of civility into the world around him.
Mastermind. Ring leader. Genius. These are the kind of words you can use to describe Louise. She is consistently the one who dreams up the various operations that the Belcher kids are involved in, roping other Wagstaff students in as required.
Louise is the queen of manipulating the world around her based on her whims, a force of nature that borders on the malevolent. You want her on your side. Many people have paid the price for crossing Louise. Watching her face off against Eric Cartman could prove to be an interesting fight.
While Louise commands the attention of everyone around her, Tina is far more subtle in her brilliance. She is a low-key individual who takes a back seat in many moments. But if you pay attention to her, she steals the show and is frequently running it.
Tina is highly perceptive, and is constantly implementing new plans to win the heart of Jimmy Pesto, Jr. Well, Jimmy or whoever her heart is drawn to each week. Her incredibly witty comments often blend into the scene but they are no less funny.