Full of weird and wonderful characters, were here to rank 10 of the most important members of Bob’s Burgers’ Wagstaff school faculty.
Many episodes of Bob’s Burgers are centered around Tina, Gene, and Louise’s school activities at Wagstaff. Due to this, a plethora of teachers and faculty have become recurring supporting characters or fan favorites in the series. Some are typical teachers, others get involved in the kid’s antics, and some are downright antagonistic.
Call them what you will, but the faculty at Wagstaff is definitely unique. They sometimes make bad decisions—like spending the student’s water park field trip money on coffee pods—but most of them are hard not to love anyway. At the very least, they’re good for some laughs.
Nurse Liz, the school nurse at Wagstaff, is by far the worst faculty member on this list. In the episode “Lice Things Are Lice,” she frequently expresses wanting something more exciting to happen at work, which isn’t great when her job is taking care of sick kids.
She also decides that the best way to take care of a lice outbreak is to shave all the student’s heads. Liz also states that she became a school nurse, “because no hospital would hire me.” It’s a miracle she hasn’t been fired yet.
Mr. Grant is Wagstaff’s A/V Advisor. He seems enthusiastic about his job, but he has his student’s focus more on gossip and “gutter journalism” than real news. He also encourages Tammy to come up with a fake story implying Tina is the “Mad Pooper.”
However, they do eventually apologize, and Mr. Grant gives Tina her own segment on the A/V Club. He also recruits Gene and Courtney to spice up the morning announcements, which honestly was a pretty good idea.
Coach Blevins is the gym teacher and wrestling coach at Wagstaff. It is also assumed that he teaches science because when Mr. Dinkler substitutes he mentions that Mr. Blevins is recovering from a severe attack of gout. Not a lot is known about Coach Blevins, but he seems to be at least an adequate coach and teacher.
He wears glasses and has long brown hair which he keeps back in a ponytail, enjoys salsa dancing, and lost his driver’s license for unknown reasons. He is also seen attending Martini Tuesdays with several of the other Wagstaff faculty members.
Ms. Merkin is the school’s music teacher. She often gives music accompaniments to school productions such as Gene’s Die Hard musical and the annual Thanksgiving play. Ms. Merkin appears to be an exceptionally talented musician capable of playing many different instruments. She also helps Gene to improve his skills in “The Itty Bitty Ditty Committee.”
Ms. Schnur is the secretary at Wagstaff. She is frequently distracted and tricked by her students. Ms. Schnur is a relatively neutral character, occasionally letting students get away with mischief for her own benefit.
For example, she lets Louis take on the role of principal so that she can use Principal Spoor’s private bathroom. Ms. Schnur also mentions that Principal Spoors is always away when a faculty member has to be fired, so she has to be the one to do the dirty work.
Ms. LaBonz teaches the fourth graders at Wagstaff and is one of the more strict teachers. In the episode “Mission Impos-slug-able” she enacts a ban on Borobu cards and later confiscates them from Louise and her friends.
Ms. LaBonz also ran the morning announcements before Gene and Courtney partially took over and is the faculty advisor to the school’s drama program. She enjoys firemen and margaritas and on occasion steals supplies from the school. Ms. LaBonz might not be the most ethical teacher, but she is definitely a huge part of Wagstaff.
Mr. Ambrose is the librarian and cheerleading coach at Wagstaff. He loves drama and apparently isn’t the biggest fan of books. As the cheerleading coach, he encourages Gene to feud with Todd, the only other male cheerleader on the squad. Mr. Ambrose states that he really wanted to be the school’s drama teacher.
He seems relatively unenthusiastic about his job as a librarian. However, he encourages Louise to research Topsy for her science project and Tina to learn witchcraft. Because of this, he perhaps unintentionally did a good job of sparking an interest in learning and research.
Ms. Jacobson teaches the eighth-graders at Wagstaff. She is one of the more normal and level-headed teachers at the school and seems very proficient at her job. She also takes on other activities such as chaperoning Tina’s middle school dance.
While there, Bob and Linda both remark that Ms. Jacobson is very attractive. She eventually has the two escorted out of the dance when they get drunk and dance inappropriately. Even though Ms. Jacobson isn’t the teacher with the most screen time, it seems like Wagstaff couldn’t function without her.
Mr. Frond is one of the most frequently reoccurring faculty members. He is the guidance counselor at Wagstaff and occasionally takes on other roles such as directing the annual Thanksgiving play and overseeing detention. Mr. Frond goes a little overboard at times, but he genuinely seems to care about his students and their well-being.
Although he and Louise are often pitted against each other, she realizes that he is a great counselor in “The Fresh Princ-ipal” when Mr. Frond is almost fired. Louis states, “he’s always busting his butt, doing his best to actually counsel kids…” Plus, his arsenal of hand-knitted therapy dolls is pretty impressive.
Mr. Branca is the custodian at Wagstaff and the most underrated faculty member. He is generally good-natured and seems to care about the students a lot, even helping them with some of their antics. In the episode “The Runaway Club,” Mr. Branca chooses the kid’s fashion design over Mr. Frond’s so that they can leave detention early and go to the cotton candy festival.
He gives Tina information on her “Mad Pooper” case, lets Gene and Tina slip notes to Louise while she is in detention, and lets the kids borrow his work crowbar. Working as a school custodian can sometimes be a thankless job, but Mr. Branca always does it with a smile.
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